The Most Boring Film Ever Made

According to deanlamb's post on the message board at IMDB, the most boring film ever made may well be Monsters (2010). After just sitting through it--or rather, lying through it, because it made me want to stretch out and go to sleep--I am inclined to agree. Perhaps I am partly to blame. From the title, I expected a horror movie (let's see, Monsters--could that possibly have something to do with monsters?). It turned out to be a rather soft-core science fiction movie, in which very little is made of the aliens who landed on earth six years previously, and more is made of the social and political issues connected to them. Oh, and there is a very dull love story involving the two main characters, both humans.

So, I admit I am the wrong audience for the film. Still, it bored me so much that I did doze a lot near the end, and cannot see that I missed much. After one shot of the couple walking through jungle, I dozed and woke up to find--another shot of the couple walking through jungle.

Nevertheless, I hesitate to say for sure that Monsters is the most boring film ever made. There are so many candidates for this high honor. The 2002 Solaris. Wim Wenders's Kings of the Road. Woody Allen's Interiors. Heartland. My Brilliant Career. It's harder for me to think of a stupefyingly boring horror film, because horror movies at least usually have some moments of action, gruesomeness, suspense, or slime to keep things moving. But how about Lake Placid? That comes as close to being boring as a movie about a giant crocodile can get.

If you have your own suggestions about most boring horror movies, or most boring movies generally, please comment.

George Ochoa
Author
Deformed and Destructive Beings: The Purpose of Horror Films